Two days ago, I had the brilliant idea to start INSANITY. First off - Shaun T - put a shirt on. While you'd think that him, in all his shirtless glory, would be awesome, it's just not helpful. What would be suuuuper helpful is a timer that went faster. I eyeball that thing something fierce. Work on that, Junior Mr. T. (Maybe he pitties the fool. Hard to say. Clearly, he takes no issue with spitters, nasty girl on the left.)
I started this thing on Tuesday. Even printed out the Insanity calendar so I could check off my progress. "Alright! Fit tesssssst!" I've seen the program on YouTube before & was certain I was about to be staring death in the face. But it's a fit test & I'm a fit girl...should be able to kick its ass, right? Two things: 1. Cardio is the 1st thing to go when you overhaul your program in favor of "kinder & gentler" and 2. Mutherfucker!?*! There's no yoga on the planet that's gonna prepare you for this. Rolling sweat. Sucking wind. Shiiiiiiit...but basically ok ;-)
Wednesday. Plyosomething and Other Stuff. According to some dude named Charles, this one's the worst ever. I was sweaty and breathing hard during the warm up. 3/4 of the way through, I was face down on the carpet in child's pose & thinking that if I didn't swallow back the vomit, I'd have to clean the carpet. Later. Which I really don't want to do. I cussed myself to a vertical position and made it through, only to wake up at 4:30 this morning gagging. Not cool. I STILL don't feel right...but looking at a picture I found of a black woman yelling, "Y'all mothafuckas need Jesus" made me laugh until I felt sick again. Totally worth it ;-)
Cardio Power & Resistance was today & I made it through the warm up/stretching before the Chunk woke up from his nap waaaay early. I was all, "Damn. The baby's awake. Guess I'll have to finish this later... :-) " Not feeling Chocolate Thunder today, shirt or no shirt, and since I have to go BACK to the camping store for some cub scout hat I forgot, swim team & then the cub scout pack meeting...yeah. Yoga. Maybe. Besides, the campy store was distracting me with all their tree-hugging crazy expensive stuff that I NEED. Like weird flipflops...and million dollar patagonia sundresses that really aren't as cute as they Jedi mind trick you into thinking they are..."peeeeee outsiiiiide. peeeeeee outsiiiiiiiide" Campy store has apparently already infiltrated the swim mom set cause it's nothing but boxy earthy tones, capris and Chacos as far as the eye can see on that swim deck. If you've been there, you know what the hell I'm talking about.
I am, however, in dire need of a Razor scooter. Tore ass on that thing going to go pick up the big one from school this afternoon. Started jumping curbs and shit. Still got all my toes and skin. Apparently, I feel the same way about scooter brakes as I do about rollerblade brakes - don't use 'em cause that's the dangerous part. That's what the good Lord invented grass for anyway...He (big) wouldn't let me ride it back :-/ Stingy!
Ugh...I look like shit and it's time to head out. At least the eye people got up off it and actually did something right for once & got my contacts in so I can quit wearing my glasses. I hate these people. I've cussed them BAD at least twice...but I'm too lazy to change horses right now.
Dykes OUT.
Longer, leaner, faster. stronger!
Ashley
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