The Move

Was contacted yesterday about maybe teaching again. Conflicted. On one hand, I've done a shit job of working out on my own for the past several days, thanks to Super Clingy Baby Man. That boy is like a foul tempered 27lb kettle bell that constantly moves by itself & tries to scratch your eyes out. On the other, I'm constantly amazed at how much damned work not-working is. Teaching ensures that I get up off my dead ass & actually leave the house. Not teaching means the house looks like an actual family (& not heathen squatters) lives there...more often than it used to. Although I look around at the end of the day & think "What the fuck did I do today?" because it looks like the answer is "a whole lotta not a goddamned thing."

Turns out, I don't leave the house more than I absolutely have to & that apparently doesn't bother me in the slightest...until I see pictures on Facebook of other grownups doing cool shit that I am not doing...THEN I have to remind myself that it only looks like fun because I'm not actually doing it. I don't like anything that involves waiting for goats to amble out of the "street" or eating mayonnaise based salads that have been sitting out in 3rd world heat for hours. With chickens just loose & shit. I like a nice, clean resort. Controlled environment with AC & indoor plumbing. Peeps invading parasite-free pools & ready booze that ain't rum punch. Why the hell is that all they ever have on a catamaran tour? Ass loads of rum punch and Heineken. Go figure.

*Side Note: Rum & I don't get along anymore after an unfortunate set of circumstances once upon a time on a planet far, far away. Not even a grilled cheese sounded good afterwards, so you know it was some crazy bad times involving an Attempted Boyfriend Jacking HoBag. Telling her sweetie back home (who had just driven 14 hrs to pick her up) how she was the ragged out fraternity bicycle? Priceless.  Sometimes, shit just slips out in the outside voice & the next thing you know, it's the longest fucking car ride of her life...if he didn't actually put her out like I would have.  Foot patrol.  Ludacris wouldn't put up with that shit and neither would I - Keep it strong!

Like the Beastie Boys said, "No time like the present to work shit out..." ;-)

Picked a hell of a day to attempt going off diet mtn dew...4 hours in, I'm declaring it a dumbass idea. I tend to chain smoke those things & then think things like "Ohmygod. Youshouldquitthat. Here's some questionable looking shit in a little squeezy bottle - let's try that instead.". And it always turns out poorly...

Longer, leaner, faster, stronger!
Ashley